The Songwriter's Gift

 Music is able to connect us to ourselves in a way that few things can.  Songs tug at our heartstrings, release long-stored memories and open us to the deepest innermost part of ourselves.  The songwriter, inspired by something beyond him or herself, stirs both joy and pain and leaves a lasting mark on our souls.

Yesterday, I went with my husband and friends to a James Taylor concert and found myself moved to tears as the songwriter's gift transported me back to myself. I was thirteen again, singing "You've Got a Friend" and "Fire and Rain", feeling my heart burst with the emotions of life.  The crowd of thousands swayed and danced, mesmerized by the messages of love and human connection that the old crooner sang out.

A few years ago, my daughter lived in the Seattle area where she had a job performing music for Alzheimer's patients.  I visited once and watched her as she played her guitar and sang for them, amazed as people who barely knew their own names were suddenly able to sing along to familiar tunes and connect to the deep emotions expressed in her original music. Those who had lost themselves found that their spirits were still strong.  I was then, and am continually amazed at the healing power of music.

This morning, I'm going to keep things simple and just reflect and give thanks for the gift of song, remembering the lyrics to one of my favorites that spoke to me long ago and still has the power to stir my soul:  

       "You've Got a Friend", by Carole King and James Taylor

When you're down and troubled
And you need a helping hand
And nothing, oh, nothing is going right
Close your eyes and think of me
And soon I will be there
To brighten up even your darkest night

You just call out my name
And, you know, wherever I am
I'll come running, oh, yeah, baby
To see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you've got to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah
You've got a friend

If the sky above you
Should turn dark and full of clouds
And that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together
And call my name out loud now
Soon I'll be knocking upon your door

You just call out my name
And, you know, wherever I am
I'll come running, oh, yes, I will
To see you again

Winter, spring, summer or fall, yeah
All you've got to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah

Hey ain't it good to know that you've got a friend
When people can be so cold?
They'll hurt you and desert you
Well, they'll take your soul if you let them
Oh, yeah, but don't you let them

You just call out my name
And, you know, wherever I am
I'll come running
To see you again

Oh, baby don't you know 'bout
Winter, spring, summer or fall
Hey, now, all you've got to do is call
Lord, I'll be there, yes, I will
You've got a friend

You've got a friend, yeah
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend?
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend?
Oh, yeah, yeah, you've got a friend

 

Do Not Be Anxious

Anxiety is the mental plague of these times.  Covid-19, the climate crisis, societal violence, financial insecurity.....there is so much uncertainty and so much that is out of our control that most of us are feeling anxious to one degree or another.  It is, literally, the fear of actual or imagined future threats and it can have very debilitating physical effects.  We may not even know that we're feeling anxious, because it can present as a vague sense of uneasiness or dread and we may not be able to name its source. There can be alarming physical symptoms as well: a racing heart, muscular tension, profuse sweating, etc.

Fortunately, because there is a direct body-mind causal connection to the symptoms of anxiety, there is much that we can do to alleviate the symptoms and ease our worries.  It is not as simple as just saying "relax, don't worry", because anxiety has its roots in the autonomic nervous system.  It is an ancient, natural response to a perceived threat and it can't just be talked away. We have to find ways to calm the nervous system's exaggerated response. 

 Some of the most effective natural remedies are surprisingly easy: 

• Exercise- Exercise isn’t just good for your physical health; it’s also beneficial for your mental health. While the connection isn’t well understood, studies do show that exercise can help to alleviate symptoms of anxiety. Getting active helps to take your mind off of the issues bothering you. It also triggers your body to release endorphins, which are natural feel-good hormones.
• Deep breathing exercises: Rapid, shallow breathing is a common symptom of anxiety. Breathing in this manner can increase your heart rate, make you feel dizzy, and may even increase the risk of a panic attack. Deep breathing involves taking deliberately deep and measured breaths to restore normal breathing patterns, which can help to reduce anxiety. 
• Meditation:  Meditation involves the practice of mindfulness. You focus on removing chaotic thoughts from your mind and replacing them with calm. Research indicates that meditation can help to relieve anxiety symptoms, helping you to feel more at ease.
• Aromatherapy: Aromatherapy involves the use of essential oils to improve health and overall well-being. Many scents can help to boost your mood, help you relax, and reduce anxiety. There are a few ways you can use essential oils. You can use a diffuser, place a few drops on a lava bead bracelet, or mix your favorite scent in a carrier oil to place on your wrist or neck. Scents to use for anxiety include: Lavender; ylang ylang; grapefruit; clary sage; bergamont.
  
• Herbal Remedies: Several different herbs and herbal supplements may help alleviate anxiety symptoms, helping you to relax and feel calmer. Some of the more well-known varieties include: Lavender, lemon balm, passionflower and chamomile. Studies show that chamomile can help with symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder. While many of the studies on herbal supplements for anxiety are limited, the results are promising.You can find many of these (and other) supplements in capsule (pill) form. Many people also drink herbal teas to help them relax. 
• CBD Oil: Several studies have shown that CBD can help with many ailments, such as pain, inflammation, insomnia and anxiety. While research is still in the early stages, studies show that it may have a lot of potential as an alternative anxiety treatment. You can find CBD products in many mainstream stores. There are many options, including:
• CBD oil tinctures (liquid drops)
• CBD gummies
• CBD chocolate and candies
• CBD topicals (creams or lotions)

* https://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/natural-remedies-for-anxiety

Because anxiety is, literally, fear of the future unknown, the most important thing we can remember is to stay in the present moment. I use the following"mantra": "In this moment, all is well, thank you God". 

I like to follow Paul's advice in Philippians 4: 6-8:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things".

 

 

Builder of Dreams

 My father was a remarkable man.  Today is his birthday, so I am honoring his memory. He passed away three years ago, three days before his 96th birthday.We had a family picnic at our home and sang "Happy Birthday" to him as he looked at the lit candles on the cake, surrounded by grandchildren and great-grandchildren and clapped his hands in delight. He died peacefully in his sleep that night, having apparently received the send-off that he had been waiting for.

He was a kind and generous man, but what was most remarkable about him was his spirit of adventure.  When he was 16, he and two friends embarked on a walking adventure, from Buffalo to the Adirondacks. He forgot to tell his mother and as you might imagine in the days before cell phones or even reliable phone service, she was beside herself with worry. His friends gave up and turned back, but he persisted, by himself, and ended up with little money and no food. He continued on to the Adirondacks and was eventually taken in by a Native American family, with whom he lived for a month, while exploring the nearby forest and mountains.  He kept a journal detailing his adventures and when he returned safely to my grandmother, I've heard it was like the Prodigal Son's return, with much rejoicing.

During the time that he lived with the Native American family, he learned much of their culture, legends and prayers and always kept these things close to his heart, much later sharing them with his children and grandchildren.

When the United States became involved in World War II, he enlisted at the age of 19 and signed up for one of the most challenging branches of the Army: he became a paratrooper.  After rigorous training, he was sent overseas and was required to jump out of airplanes into enemy territory, fighting on the ground in some of the most famous battles of this war. He never spoke about the war when we were growing up, but as he approached the end of his life, he had frequent dreams and many of his memories surfaced, which he shared with his family.

After the war, he earned a degree in Psychology, tried to work in an office environment (where he met my mother), but decided he really wanted to work with his hands, outdoors.  He learned the trade of carpentry and became a successful builder. He and my mother married, had a family, and the rest is history, so to speak. 

So what is enduring about this man?  What do people remember about him? For me, it is life lessons that he taught me: love of nature and all living things; respect for planet Earth and Native American culture; the value of hard work; how to till the soil, plant and grow vegetables; how to walk silently through the forest and feel the spirit of the trees. He instilled in me a love of books and music and taught by example how to be kind and honorable.  

As I remember him today, I would like to share a beautiful Native American prayer that my son Jeff read at my dad's recent memorial service, when we finally laid his ashes to rest:

Great Spirit Prayer

Oh, Great Spirit,
Whose voice I hear in the winds
and whose breath gives life to all the world.
Hear me! I need your strength and wisdom.
Let me walk in beauty, and make my eyes
ever hold the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have made
and my ears sharp to hear your voice.
Make me wise so that I may understand
the things you have taught my people.
Let me learn the lessons you have hidden
in every leaf and rock.

Help me remain calm and strong in the
face of all that comes towards me.
Help me find compassion without
empathy overwhelming me.
I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother,
but to fight my greatest enemy: myself.
Make me always ready to come to you
with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset,
my spirit may come to you without shame.

- Translated by Lakota Sioux Chief Yellow Lark in 1887

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love, Unconditionally

 One of my all time favorite feel-good movies is "Bridget Jone's Diary" with Renee Zellweger and Colin Firth. It's a story about two people who, through a series of funny mishaps and misunderstandings, realize that they're in love. There's a great scene where, in the beginning of the relationship, they have a conversation about all her faults and flaws, in which he agrees that she sometimes does ridiculous things and all the flaws she had just listed were in fact, part of her personality. In his very proper British vernacular, he then says: "What I'm trying to say, in my very inarticulate way, is it doesn't matter:
I like you, very much, just as you are". 

Isn't that really what we all want? To be loved and accepted "just as you are"?  I believe that most of us, despite the front that we put on for the world. are painfully aware of our faults and flaws. No doubt, we all have made mistakes and many of us carry regrets that we can't seem to fully let go of.  

Some may feel, like Renee Zellweger's character did, that they can't enter a relationship because their flaws make them unlovable. Others may believe that they can't come before God or enter a church because at some point in their upbringing they were taught that they weren't good enough. 

These thoughts make me feel sad, because I believe that our amazing Creator fills the universe with His/Her love, extravagantly, unconditionally and that each one of us is cherished, "just as we are".  If we come before God with open hearts, whatever our state of mind or degree of spiritual maturity, we are laid bare.... all our faults out there, in the open and it doesn't matter, because we are loved anyway.

It sounds too good to be true, right? We, as imperfect, flawed beings who continually mess up, are loved with no strings attached.  Amazingly, as we receive this love, we begin to change. We can rise to the occasion, so to speak and find ourselves in the process of becoming people who, in turn, are able to go out and love others unconditionally; to give them what we ourselves have received.

Those of us who are parents, or who work with children, know the value of positive reinforcement. It's not easy, but if we force ourselves to ignore the negative behavior and focus on loving the child and praising the good, they begin to change: slowly, almost imperceptibly at first, but because they crave love and approval, they will change their behavior to win it.  

Of course, I haven't always done this. I can look back and realize that, as a mother and a teacher, I have made mistakes, certainly. I've been guilty of letting my human nature get the better of me and have said and done things that were less than fully, unconditionally loving.  

But as I receive love and grace from God, I can begin to change, to bring more of that perfect love into my heart and back out into the world.

 This is my prayer for today.