Taking Spiritual Inventory

 If we really choose to enter into the events of Holy Week, we can experience the whole gamut of human emotion and drama: extravagant love and service to others; the importance of remembrance; devotion, fear, betrayal, horror, suffering, death, sadness and mourning, waiting, celebration and joy. 

There is so much to learn here, about being a human, as well as about transcending our humanity and mortality through devotion and faith. The very essence of Christianity is here: we all live our roller coaster lives, each day and year a mixed bag of joy and despair. But, if we believe, truly believe with all our hearts, in the miracle of the resurrection and the promise of new life in Christ, we are given a promise that we can hold onto.

As I sit here today, contemplating all this, I am reminded about the importance of taking a spiritual inventory; and realize that this is probably a good week to do that. After all, we are given the perfect model for our spirituality: The devotion of Mary, sitting at Jesus' feet, anointing him with expensive oil; the lessons of love for others, servanthood and remembrance demonstrated during the Last Supper, the agony of betrayal, suffering and death (things that we all experience at some point in our lives) and how we can transcend pain through entering into it with faith, obedience and hope. We are reminded that joy and celebration are an essential part of our experience as well, and that these times are what give us the strength to go on and to be continually renewing ourselves.

So, on this Monday of Holy Week, I challenge you to prayerfully ask yourself the following questions as a spiritual inventory:

• Am I expressing my love and devotion, first to God and then to others? What am I DOING to build others up, to show them that I truly love and care about them? How does my life reflect the spirit of servanthood that Jesus demonstrated at the Last Supper?
• Am I taking time to REMEMBER Jesus through the lesson of the eucharist, inviting the indwelling spirit to live in me? Am I remembering the lessons of those who came before, who have passed on? My ancestors: parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles who helped to shape me...
• When painful experiences come, am I entering into them, prayerfully, not turning from them or numbing the pain with alcohol, drugs, or distraction, but fully experiencing it, as Jesus did? What lessons can I learn by embracing pain and leaning on God to help me transcend it? How can this make me stronger spiritually?
• Am I able to wait patiently when my prayers aren't answered immediately? Can I have faith that in divine right timing all will be made well?
• How can I be renewed and refreshed by the lessons of rebirth and resurrection that the Easter story shows us?
• How can I more fully enjoy the happy moments of celebration by being present, wholly and joyfully?

As you do this inventory, take notes: what do I want to keep in my life and what is it time to let go of? What can I add to my daily life to foster spiritual growth? How can I more fully embrace the joyful times by being present in the moment, not regretful about the past or anxious about the future? Reflect and be Renewed...

Wishing you all a very Happy Easter Week!

Be the Peace

 This morning, I woke up with a heaviness of heart. "The world is too much with us" echoes in my mind, to quote Wordsworth. Our country is at war; we have bombed a school full of little girls, causing unimaginable heartache and pain. Our government no longer seems to represent us, but to be wholly focused on a campaign of cruelty, here and abroad, tearing families apart and making life difficult for the average American just trying to get by. 

Add this to our own daily struggles and trials and we can begin to feel very overwhelmed.

The words to a Beatles song ring in my head: "When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be, let it be..."

There seems to be a special message in those words for me now, and also for all of us in these times. As a mother and grandmother, I tend to try to fix things and I often can't help worrying, trying to carry everyone's burdens and soothe everyone's pain.
I'm sure many can identify with this frame of mind and way of being. The problem is, we can only carry someone else's burdens for so long and then we have to let them go, give them to a higher power, be a compassionate witness and "let it be".....

"And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the broken-hearted people
Living in the world agree
There will be an answer, let it be

For though they may be parted
There is still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Yeah, there will be an answer, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Ah, let it be, yeah, let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be

I wake up to the sound of music
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be

Let it be, let it be
Let it be, yeah, let it be
Oh, there will be an answer, let it be"

-Paul McCartney

This is my message for today: let go of worrying, struggling, fretting and fixing.  Sit back, be a witness, hold those we love in prayer and embrace our own inner light.  Be strengthened and empowered for this moment in time and be open to Divine guidance on when and how to act.  Let our loved ones follow their own path and experience their own struggles. Change what we can in the world and let the rest go...

Step outside, connect to the earth, breathe deeply of the cold early spring air and

 be the peace we wish to see...

Rhythm of Life

 I've always found the "spring forward" and "fall back" time changes to be annoying and unnatural feeling. My biological clock feels so unsettled, as if I'm floating between two times for a while. 

We are created beings, aligned with the natural world, and yet we are continually being forced out of sync with the rhythms of life. The rising and setting of the sun, the noonday sky, the stars and moon at night, have always been our timekeepers. Yet, in our day-to day lives, we must adhere to strict manmade measurements of time. We are expected to make our commitments and appointments on time; to be late is considered rude. We celebrate each year of life, we keep track of our calendars and our ages. We lament the passage of time, yet have no control over it. 

It's true that there are no do-overs; there is no way to stop aging or go back in time, though many have fantasized about it. Time travel books and movies theorize about it; quantum physicists say it might be possible in theory, but no one has quite figured it out yet. 

I guess the best we can do is try to live in the moment, however that moment is measured. Be here now, making the most of whatever time we have left. We can obey the constraints of society's time yet still make room to be out in nature each day, feeling the rhythm of the natural world and allowing it to heal our confused biological clocks. 

So, this early morning, I go outside, look up into the still dark sky, feel the warmth of a spring breeze; smell the reborn earth and give thanks for another day. I pray that I will enter into each moment fully grounded and strengthened. Thank you, thank you, thank you God. 

The Still Small Voice

 More often than not these days, I am awakened early in the morning by chattering thoughts bouncing around in my head like unruly children. I try to still them by breathing and focusing on a one-word mantra, but to no avail, so I get up, start the coffee and write my busy thoughts down. I certainly don't want to forget whatever my mind thinks is so important.

Once the "storm" of thoughts is acknowledged and written down, I am better able to find a still point as I breathe slowly and repeat "peace, be still" to myself. This process brings to mind the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19:9-12 in which he spends the night in a cave seeking the word of the Lord:

Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake;  and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.

Interesting..."A still small voice" is how God speaks, like the silence after a thunderstorm has passed by:

"After the wind, earthquake and fire, the Hebrew text says there was the qôl dem̆ āmâ daqqâ.  In Hebrew that literally means, the sound of thin or sheer silence, like we experience after a storm has passed. In fact, dem̆ āmâ is used precisely that way by a psalmist (Psalm 107.29).  The NRSV translates it literally as “the sound of sheer silence.”

Can you “hear” silence?

Is silence a voice that God uses to speak his Word to us?

I think the answer to both of those questions is yes. Silence is what makes possible a true hearing; it gives "hospitality" or place for the Word to be spoken, welcomed and given sanctuary in our hearts..."

( https://www.gen215.org)

I am encouraged by the above commentary to think of "the Word" as a living, breathing thing that is "given sanctuary in our hearts" as we create space by spending time in silence, letting go of our busy, chattering thoughts, our worries, our anxiety...writing them down or imagining them floating away like tiny balloons.

 As we make space for silence, we can open our hearts and just listen for awhile. We may be surprised at what we hear.

 

Grace, Poured Out

 Yesterday morning, I was out walking on a cold late winter morning, trying to release angry, irritable feelings that I had regarding a certain situation in my life. I felt remorse about bitter words I had spoken the day before. Suddenly, the phrase "grace falls like rain" floated around me like tiny sparks of light and I saw very clearly that I was already covered in undeserved mercy and love. In that moment, every bad thought and feeling washed away like rain. It felt like a baptism..

"There is therefore now no condemnation" Paul tells us in Romans 8:1, yet this seems to be a very difficult concept for many of us to grasp. There is a human tendency towards self-condemnation that leads to damaging negative self-talk and guilt that can plague us for years. 

As soon as we feel that remorse and have a change of heart, however, grace and mercy will pour down on us like rain if we believe in the Spirit who gives us life. It's that simple. There is nothing more we have to do- we only need to accept the free gift. There is no legalistic requirement to be good enough, follow certain rules or do a certain number of good works in order to receive God's grace. We are simply forgiven and loved as we are.  

How liberating this is, if we only trust in this assurance.

 As Philip Yancey explains in his book What's so Amazing About Grace:: “By striving to prove how much they deserve God’s love, legalists miss the whole point of the gospel, that it is a gift from God to people who don’t deserve it. The solution to sin is not to impose an ever-stricter code of behavior. It is to know God.” 

It is the experience of knowing God that changes our hearts, not the striving on our own power to be better and do better, then condemning ourselves when we fail.

So, this morning, I am thankful for the gift of grace, that is poured out continually, unmeasured and overflowing, renewing and changing my heart day by day.

Breathe in and out, releasing all and accepting the love that is freely given...  

 

*Art by Grace Dillon