I Forgive Myself

The key to living a life free of regret is learning to forgive.  As difficult as it may be to offer grace to others, sometimes the hardest person to forgive is yourself.

There are times in life when circumstances seem beyond our control and we lash out in desperation, saying things that we will later regret.  Hurtful words can truly be like weapons that we use against others and while we may apologize, the sting of these words may linger for a long time.

There are times when we hold back and don't express our love for someone because it hurts too much to open our hearts.  We may be too busy or distracted to understand how important it is to tell those  closest to us how much they mean to us, and take for granted that they just know how we feel.  We may not understand how vitally important this is until we have lost loved ones and are faced with the regret of what we have held back.

I have lost both of my parents in the past four years as well as others close to me, and know full well the pain of regret.  Death snaps us out of our delusion that things will always be the same, that we will see those we love tomorrow, that tomorrow will be a better day to express what's in our hearts.

The reality is that we really only have today, the present moment, because, although we can plan, schedule and imagine the future, it does not exist in the now.... 

So today, in this moment, I forgive myself for past hurts, expressions of love I've withheld,and ways in which I have not given fully of myself, from the heart rather than out of a sense of duty.

 I breathe deeply, and on exhaling, release regret, self-judgment and self-condemnation.  I breathe in forgiveness, healing, and the light of God's love and grace.

In this forgiveness, this release, I find the courage to begin anew, to hug a loved one and tell them how much they mean to me, to send a note of appreciation, to ask forgiveness for past wrongs, to find a new path forward.

Breathe out regrets, breathe in forgiveness and freedom..

Just Breathe

An anxious thought wakes me and I wrestle with this for a few moments.  Like a flash of light, in my mind's eye, I see the words "just breathe".  So I do, deeply and slowly, until my anxious thoughts dissipate like the morning fog as the sun breaks through.

How simple and yet how profound it is to just breathe.  It is something we do without thinking of course, as it connects us to the Source of life, but when we consciously direct the flow of breath, it has the power to calm us and bring us to heightened states of awareness.

There is a physiological basis for the calming effect that breathwork has on our psyches.  When we are feeling anxious, our heart rate and nervous system are ramped up and the balance between oxygen and carbon dioxide levels in the blood may be disrupted.  As soon as we begin to focus on deep, slow breathing, the nervous system calms down and the blood chemistry re-balances, so that we feel calmer almost instantly. According to a recent article in Psychology Today (Jan 16, 2019), Yoga and breathing exercises have been shown through scientific studies to have a positive effect on brain chemistry as well, which eases anxiety and lifts mood.

Here's a simple exercise to practice whenever anxiety strikes:

• Sit with your eyes closed and turn your attention to your breathing. Breathe naturally, and just follow the flow of breath
•  Place one hand on your belly, and the other on your chest. Take a deep breath for a count of four. Hold your breath for a count of three. Exhale for a count of four. The hand on your chest should remain relatively still, while the hand on your belly rises gently upward. Contract your abdominal muscles to exhale, breathing out through your mouth.
•  Concentrate on your breath and forget everything else. Your mind may be busy, and you may feel that this exercise is making your mind busier, but the reality is you're becoming more aware of your mind's busy state.

•  Release the different thoughts as they arise, and focus on the sensation of your breath. If you discover that your mind has wandered and is following your thoughts, immediately return it to the breath.

Repeat as many times as necessary until your mind settles and you feel calm.

Give thanks for your breath, as it connects you to Spirit

Beauty is All Around Me

On this cloudy, cool early spring morning, I walk outside and notice what is beautiful... I see snow glories and crocuses in bloom, cardinals and finches at the bird feeder and a robin hopping along the slowly greening grass. The sounds of spring are glorious: birdsong everywhere and woodpeckers searching for insects in the trees. Daffodils and tulips are poking new growth through the earth and Lilacs are budding with May's promise.  Two squirrels scamper after having raided the feeder and their antics lift my spirits.

I choose not to care about the fence in need of painting or the deck in need of staining.  As with all of life, it's easy to focus only on the problems of the moment or the tasks that will have to be done in the future and to lose sight of the beauty of now.

Now is really all we have; the past and future exist only in our minds, as memories and possibilities.

So for today, I will live for the eternal present and will notice every beautiful thing.

Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. 

 Make the now the primary focus of your life- Eckhart Tolle

Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. Make the Now the primary focus of your life
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