I Forgive Myself

The key to living a life free of regret is learning to forgive.  As difficult as it may be to offer grace to others, sometimes the hardest person to forgive is yourself.

There are times in life when circumstances seem beyond our control and we lash out in desperation, saying things that we will later regret.  Hurtful words can truly be like weapons that we use against others and while we may apologize, the sting of these words may linger for a long time.

There are times when we hold back and don't express our love for someone because it hurts too much to open our hearts.  We may be too busy or distracted to understand how important it is to tell those  closest to us how much they mean to us, and take for granted that they just know how we feel.  We may not understand how vitally important this is until we have lost loved ones and are faced with the regret of what we have held back.

I have lost both of my parents in the past four years as well as others close to me, and know full well the pain of regret.  Death snaps us out of our delusion that things will always be the same, that we will see those we love tomorrow, that tomorrow will be a better day to express what's in our hearts.

The reality is that we really only have today, the present moment, because, although we can plan, schedule and imagine the future, it does not exist in the now.... 

So today, in this moment, I forgive myself for past hurts, expressions of love I've withheld,and ways in which I have not given fully of myself, from the heart rather than out of a sense of duty.

 I breathe deeply, and on exhaling, release regret, self-judgment and self-condemnation.  I breathe in forgiveness, healing, and the light of God's love and grace.

In this forgiveness, this release, I find the courage to begin anew, to hug a loved one and tell them how much they mean to me, to send a note of appreciation, to ask forgiveness for past wrongs, to find a new path forward.

Breathe out regrets, breathe in forgiveness and freedom..