Gloves of Kindness

 This morning, a memory surfaced that I realize has had a profound effect on my life.  I recalled my first grade teacher, Miss Johnson, standing in front of the class and putting on her "gloves of kindness". 

She would put the gloves on as she recited the golden rule: "Do to others what you would have them do to you".  I'm sure she taught us many other things that school year, but this is what I remember and have carried with me throughout my life.

It's interesting that most major religions have some variation of the golden rule as a major tenet:

• Christianity:  "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets". Matthew 7:12
  
• Judaism:  "What is hateful to you, do not to your fellow man. This is the law: all the rest is commentary." Talmud, Shabbat 31a.
• Hinduism: "This is the sum of duty: do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you." Mahabharata 5:1517 
  
• Islam:   None of you [truly] believes until he wishes for his brother what he wishes for himself." Number 13 of Imam "Al-Nawawi's Forty Hadiths." 
• Buddhism:  "Hurt not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful." Udana-Varga 5:18
• Native American:  "All things are our relatives; what we do to everything, we do to ourselves. All is really One." Black Elk 
  

Some religions teach that we are born evil and are in need of salvation in order to be right before God. In my many years of working with very young children, I have to say I have found the opposite to be true. Even toddlers demonstrate compassion for each other.  If one child is hurt or sad, another will show concern, place an arm around that child, offer to get a band-aid or help in some way.

I remember my own granddaughter, when little more than one year old, hugging trees and flowers, seeming to feel an affinity for them as fellow life forms on planet Earth.

Children are born innocent...I believe that unkindness is learned behavior, often taught by observing the unkind words and actions of adults. I wonder if parents and grandparents (myself included) really think about the impact their everyday behavior has on their children. We are all imperfect and sometimes say or do things that are less than kind, but we can resolve to be mindful and self-reflective, striving to perform small acts of kindness every day, to say words that encourage rather than criticize and judge. It's so important that we allow our children to see us behaving in ways that demonstrate compassion and empathy for others, rather than disdain for the homeless beggar or road rage towards the careless driver.

We live in a country beset by political and cultural divisions, where, sadly, some children are learning hatred and intolerance of those different from themselves.  But maybe, if each of us resolves to perform small kindnesses every day and to teach this behavior to our children and grandchildren, the world will begin to change. We can certainly hope, pray and DO our best.

*Photograph by Marco Mancinelli, "The Age of Innocence"